heartbroken!!

I dont know how else to put it. All I can say is i am severely heartbroken. This week had been the worst so far in 2010. and i dread history doesnt repeat itself again. one blow after another and all i could do was be a patient spectator.

“How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown”

i was listening to this song while i headed to work this morning. as Dylan sang my favorite lyrics, “How does it feel”, i smiled and said, “ask me”.  life has been ruffled and messed up off lately. the more i tried to even things the more haywire it went.

when u fall in love you stop finding reasons.or do u find more reasons to keep falling in love? i guess i am more like the later one. i have every odd reason to love him more. no matter what – all my heart knows – is to just love him, to go on trusting him. i am often tagged by my friends as “the-foolish-one” who keeps waiting her emotions on people who lure my heart at their free will. but who cares really? at least i dont. i would love to tagged as the most foolish girl if that leaves me with a change to love him more without any reason.

i am going through a strange phase of life. i cant express in words what i am going through right now. but i enjoy every moment of it. i have set myself free.free of emotional dependency on him, free of attachments, free of expectations. but certainly not free of love.thats the only thing i am left with.