my kohl smudged eyes…

IMG_0002-2 My recent activities include talking to men from various walks of life… and all that with one motive in mind… trying a knot… I have to get wed by 2012 – mom’s new year resolution… the kohl eyes smudged eyes look all the more tired with an even tiring mind… but the smile and tonal quality has to be perfect… I should sound sweet and cordial…answering the same questions to each one of the wonderful men whom I come across these days… they try their best to make me feel comfortable… some even go overboard to make mee feel special… and I respond in my own way as I maintain my best grace and wit…

It seems that the mockery in me has finally given away…Time and place doesn’t matter anymore… the world seems to have come so closer sweeping my feet… Marshall McLuhan was so true when he said, “the world is a global village”…

Its winter now…every morning I wake up to sit with my fuming cuppa black coffee… flipping through the news paper and giving short updates on twitter… the wind chime creates alluring music to the chilly air that blows sharply… I love the wind chimes…had never loved it so much before…it seems life is changing for mee…

The cheesy creamy cakes now have a special place…sinful chocolate sauce and strawberries…I love them all… I am quite out of character… may be I had never known until now what my true character was… The book reading sessions have given way to self help books and devotional books… My magnetism and humor, has long nourishment, with my blemished self… It’s time to split-up the two…

Eyes keep searching for that perfect man who would finally entwine my fingers and walk with mee… there is serenity in the distant dream…it doesn’t make any noise… the fine mix of anxiety and excitement is intoxicating… I am getting used to with all these… men, getting special attention, gaining importance… flattering words, half of which I know is not true…yet they make me feel good…well I never wanted life to be such…but there is a certain pleasure in inflicting pain on oneself… sweet pain… I have baptized myself for this… vacated myself of all emotions…forgotten the paths I ever walked…its love that I seek…I crave…I beg for…

Time, like a dried river, has ceased to exist… I walk on to reach the destination…on my way I keep gathering peace and happiness only to be shared and showered on that special someone…pretense…

A day will come, when we will meet…not to part…but to live on forever… the daily miracles will take its own sweet toll on life…until then I will keep playing with my kohl smudged eyes…

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3 thoughts on “my kohl smudged eyes…

  1. u know this post reminds me of ashapurna devi.time changes,so does people.a girl in this society is required to be constant.her dreams,aspirations,thoughts entwined to what society wants of her! Life…..sigh

  2. Amen !!!

    Moreover, I can identify with your thoughts… Truly we all should wait for the perfect one for ourselves to make our lives nearly perfect…

  3. These days, most moms have that ambition. “A day will come, when we will meet…not to part…but to live on forever… the daily miracles will take its own sweet toll on life…until then I will keep playing with my kohl smudged eyes”- Beautiful lines. Convey hope and longing in one go. All I will say is, Someone somehwere is out there fr you.

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