You’re my Hero

Thank you for being a huge support. Thank you for being my strength. Thank you for being an inspiration forever. Thank you for showing the right path always. Thank you for being a mentor. Thank you for being a guide. Thank you for being a person I can look up to. Thank you for putting thoughts in my mind that counts. Thank you for making me realize that its "Now" I should live in. Thank you for transforming every tough moment into a smile. Thank you for your care. Thank you for all those unspoken words. Thank you for that pride on your face to see mee succeed. Thank you for bounding mee in limits when I need them. Thank you for your firm tones when I go wrong. Thank you for always being the "Right" example. Thank you for not holding my hands when I falter but being my biggest mental strength to face the hurdles. Thank you for all your unselfish ways. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for being the shelter. Thank you for helping me to get through. Thank you for putting others’ before your selfish interests. Thank you for making every one feel so special around you. Thank you for sharing smiles, laughter and happiness. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for making everything right. Thank you for your deliberate scolding to correct people around you. Thank you for all the love. Thank you for handling things with the best care. Thank you for teaching right from wrong. Thank you for all the sacrifices. Thank you for always making mee feel important. Thank you for making each day the most beautiful one. Thank you for your faith so strong. I owe you a thank you today and every day.

Its Thanksgiving Dad. Thank you for being the best dad in the world.

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inevitable

We are smothered completely by inevitable fates in life… death of a close one, dumped in love, failing to make a friend understand that you never lied… many would argue with a “nothing is permanent”, or try to fake comfort with, “this too shall pass” thing… but perishing just isn’t, for few it lingers on forever… yet you keep trying every moment to fake that smile… its easier than putting your best attempt to make people believe you really really had not lied…ahh so mellow-fully-dramatic

Well, as an adult I should have known by now that nothing is really permanent – being loved or hated, being alive or dying, succeeding or failing… but how did we come to know this? Is it because it happened to us at some point of time in life or we just knew it and lived in a denial?

“Accepting would make things easy”, many have told me this. But accepting what? That death, failure, losing a loved one is what it should have been? And that since all these were destined to happen I shouldn’t have been hurt since it did?

But why does it hurt so much? Does it hurt more coz you loved each one of them more than your life? Or is it because, letting go is not easy?

an afternoon that never was

It was supposed to be a warm winter afternoon…ma and me will take the afternoon metro to New Market, where she will shop for some winter garments and few household necessities(whatever that is)… captured by the excitement of the endeavor I revolved around my entire weekend looking forward to the trip…planning for what to wear, what to shop, what to eat and so on…we would hop from one shop to another, feel the texture of silk as my mom does before buying a cloth, buy at least a small something for everyone back home…we would then dive into the mughlai delicacies at Nizam or badshah, where ma will tuck into biriyani …I will gnaw at chunks of chicken sipping over pina-colada…I thought…

Early Sunday morning, mom and dad bickered over petty things and the endeavor fell apart as usual… the plan was called off… but I have intense memories of it… an afternoon that never was…

Unquiet Mind…

There’s something always very warm and special about a quiet night and memories. If you close your eyes and let yourself fly in the air for a moment – stop worrying, forget all queries that have clouded your mind for long and shed away the emptiness that tie you down every time you try to stand erect – just resign yourself reign over yourself…do you feel the life you want a little more vividly?

I’ve been counting back every step I’ve taken down the by-lanes all these 27 years. I say by-lanes because they never completely occupied my interest; they continued to be whimsical outgrowths, ruled by impulse – here now, fading a second later – like snowflakes melting the moment they make contact with skin. Singing dreams. A voice to enthrall the crowd, a sketch hurriedly drawn, a pair of eyes so perfectly shaped, anklets and dancing feet thumping on the floor, a cake whisked up in a moment of joy, words brought to life with the purl of an ink pen, a drop or two blotting the paper. An essay pining to pour out, a tear shot to a moment in sepia. Yet my heart aches swing off its shivers outstretched into rain.

Isn’t there something so beautiful and so much more attractive about an idea than the thing itself? For me its like the idea of being an artist. Sitting in an open field, surrounded by hills with casuarina, pine and spruce in the distance, listening to the wind whistling through their fine leaves…Dylan singing blowing in the wind…everything around you sunk in shades of mustard, brown and deep green… an empty canvas awaiting to be filled with bold strokes of vibrant colors…there’s a fire of desires in my eyes.

Ads: Liberators or Manipulators

Is advertising truly a seduction through manipulation? Gentle persuasion by caressing both the heart and the head? Or is it just a fashionable invite of the promised goods and services to the target audience? A method to spruce up the process of invitation, rather than the qualities of the goods and services themselves?

As per the definition goes advertising is a process of indirect persuasion to turn the consumer’s minds towards purchase. But, are the parameters of this definition limited to its true sense today, is a big question now.

In todays world advertising has become an art of psycho selling – one of the latest and most popular marketing tactics, which combines passion with cunningness. It is a permissible lie, seducing human mind to create needs and turn them into wants to meet targets. So can it be said that advertising has become evil, poisonous and dangerous?

Looking from a different perspective one can say that advertising is probably one of the greatest happenings as a social phenomenon today. It exposes people to a wider variety of products and services designed to provide comfort, convenience and higher level of well being. So can it not be said that anything that invites people to live better can only be a positive influence?

But then what is the point in flashing hi-tech and glam products when the majority of the population cant afford it? What is the need to give birth to a greed in them to achieve more?

Advertisements are liberators in some sense but they require manipulation too. For eg., if we consider fairness creams, we have seen that they highlight on an old and ancient belief that fair is beautiful. Several companies have been playing with this idea for quite sometime. And although its unfortunate but these companies are certainly successful.

Undoubtedly the positive side of ads exist loud and clear but the negative aspects are the half truths. It is done with such a manipulative skill that it seems as if they have spoken everything when originally they haven’t said anything at all. In the market driven new economic world, advertising is happening in every spheres of life. Its a fact, even necessity, that needs to be applauded or completely dumped as the occasion demands but never can it be ignored.

close to my heart…

IMG_0185_thumb9 mad is the one word that best describes Priyanka… and she makes the world maddening…she is the other name of joy and fun…a very adorable person that she is, she has the caring soul of a woman…in contrast to which she is a biker, a badminton player and yess a kick boxer (as i have witnessed her kicking sumit’s butt many times)…she constitutes a very important part of my life…our bike rides to juice station near swimming pool every evening, as i endlessly keep blabbering unimportant things…“bawals” with rash driving dudes and auto drivers…secret ice-cream sessions without letting anyone know in office…and my everyday ride back home on her bike…are just a few little things i would carry with myself as long as i live…

IMG_0031_thumb8 a wonderful girl…she surprises me every moment with her patience and ability to adapt to any given situation…she can simply get along with anybody and everybody…you can fulfill all your whims and fancies on her…try your make up skills on her (you are at liberty to use as many weird shades as you want) and she would sit quietly until you master all your skills…a medical bio-technologist, her dream is to give wings to the underprivileged children to fly…she aims to become a “sanyasi” sometime soon…Surmi is one of the most intelligent girls i have ever known…she is always so easy to be with…you just dont need to express yourself in front of her or talk bout ur pain…the very sensitive heart that she is gifted with understands even the unspoken silence…

SP_A0017 Well without this Kohl connoisseur life would never have been what it is now…my guide, philosopher, a true supporter in crime, my friend, my didi…she hold my chest of secrets…i grew up with her knowing how to build one’s inner strength to face all adversities…stylish, educated, well read, socially and politically aware, and a perfect sense of art…and hang on these doesn’t describe her totally…a great cook, brilliant writer, and a walking dictionary, she is fun to be with…loads of attitude…is a lesson for all those who aspire to achieve bindaasdom…her raw humor is as good as her sarcasms…i am now hunting for more words…what else can i say bout her that have already not been said??

 

Copy_of_cal_times_thumb1[1]  A drop of tear and rainbow on it…She loves to fly with the clouds… She loves to fall on the earth like transparent rain drop… She is obsessively in love with rain… She is built with a perfect sense of dignity and a romantic heart…Sohini is so like mee…our love for music, books, movies, rain, poetry…everything matches surprisingly…i have met her only once, yet i feel so attached to her…can connect to her so easily… She speaks her mind…and i think its our love for rain that brought us closer…dont know how else to describe her…all i can say is that it makes mee sad even if i dont speak to her for a single day…dont see her tweets and dont share my musings with her…

Twitter_Pic_thumb[2] well this person doesn’t need any advertisement advisor… seriously…he is like an open book… no-pretentions, especially when he is drunk… he is too good in many ways than is possible 2 write here… and the moment you meet him you would be forced to start comparing him with some of the wildest and lunatic things on earth… he is simply beyond control, beyond pettiness and beyond confinement…coz he is this “cute lil Casper”… I simply adore the way he lives his life with abandon – a happy go lucky spirit, intelligence, wit… I sometimes feel without people like Laghu the world would be a huge structured organization where programmed robot-like humans would exist, and function according to pre-defined norms. my friend is a whiff of rebellious air and unadulterated fun…and yess, he has a golden heart…

 One of the best persons I have ever met so far… Young and extremely energetic… very focused in life, Aninda actually knows his job “the best”… he is ever ready to share knowledge and put his very best for the betterment of the “ecosystem”… ever in confusion seek his guidence and know that you are in the safest hands… I am lucky that I get to speak to him often and keep on learning more each day… he has this ability to frame questions in mind the moment you share a new idea with him… he would analyze, show you the pain points and as bonus would also give you brilliant solutions you have never thought of… to mee, he is not just a supportive friend, but a mentor and my best guide… 

 

Nonsense that made some Sense… Finally

This is a Facebook post and comments I received below it… the whole phenomenon began at 2.30 am at night…

Anamus Chakraborty

i can sense its not really making any sense…wanna hibernate…run away before the sense means non-sense to both of us… what senseless talk is this????

Anupam Sen still it doesnt make any snese to me :O

Anamus Chakraborty lets keep it nonsensical then… let the senselessness grow… does that make any sense et al?

Anupam Sen watch Rubber then ! its completely nonsensical.

Anamus Chakraborty am planning to go insane…will watch "The Wall" yet another time… well cinema is still an art for mee no matter how lesser sense it makes to others… 🙂 huh

Anupam Sen

In the Steven Spielberg movie E.T., why is the alien brown? No reason. In a love story, why do the two main characters fall madly in love with each other? No reason. In Oliver Stone’s JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason. In the excellent Chainsaw Massacre by Toby Hooper, why don’t we ever see the characters go to the bathroom or wash their hands like people do in real life? Absolutely no reason. Worse, in The Pianist by Polanski, how come this guy has to hide and live like a bum when he plays the piano so well? Once again, the answer is no reason. I could go on for hours with more examples. The list is endless. You’ve probably never given it a thought, but all great films, without exception, contain an important element of no reason. And you know why? Because life, itself, is filled with no reason. Why can’t we see the air all around us? No reason. Why are we always thinking? No reason. Why do some people love sausages and other people hate sausages? No fucking reason.

Anamus Chakraborty and y are we always in fear of losing the one we love the most? No Reason… y do the ones who we love the most hurt us easily? No Reason… y is our past always overshadowing our present and blocking the way to future?? No Reason…. y cant we accept people with their differences?? No reason… y do we find more faults in the person we love the most?? No Reason…. but there are subtle reasons hidden in all of it… perhaps Emily had to run away with Steerforth to die in the sea leaving David all broken and shattered only to make him happy forever with Agnes at the end… there was a very strong reason for it… love has the strongest reason…so does passion… but y cant we ever explain it?? No Reason… y do small things in life give us more happiness and absolutely meaningless insignificant words hurt us the most?? No Fucking Reason

disconnect

I feel a sudden disconnect from you… why does it change so soon without even giving a prior notification? I think I am getting all insane… I think I will cry tonight… cry to death if that helps mee rise up and live again… the storm inside my heart keeps brewing to take the shape and form that can scare mee to death… don’t hold my trembling hands I pray… let mee fight it out on my own… let mee fight the harshest climes and live through it each day… nothing stays forever… neither sorrow nor happiness or death… its only the memories that live on…

the sky looked same like each day…changing colors from pale blue to orange, purple and finally dark… its evening now…not very late for us… but the time has certainly changed… it didn’t whisper love into my ears… we were near yet I failed to take this shortest journey, reach up to you and pour my heart out… silly… no point in cribbing now…I said to myself…

happy birthday to mee, Dad

It is my 30th birthday. Everyone seems to have come to terms with the fact that dad is no more. Except mee and maa. We seem not to let lose the memories of him.

He left us quite abruptly. I know many would disagree. In fact I have heard many saying words of sympathies and drawing a conclusion that this was about to happen. Well, may be this was. He wasn’t made to fight with cancer for long. It was a fight of only 12 days before he died of cardiac arrest. We were unprepared. But then again, is there anyone ever prepared to face death?

Everyone who knows me said I handled it so well. Received countless praises for doing something I should have done. Was this so unnatural that people eulogized mee so much? I still don’t understand if there was any set criteria for this that I had met rightly. Maa and I are still living, putting up a smiling happy face to everyone. They just don’t know the whirlpool of emptiness inside us.

To the wounds of death and to its pain everything else seems secondary. It was much like what cancer did to dad. Days pass, people come and go, I keep going with the flow of life. But the wound never dies. It remains there, unaffected, as a part of our very survival. The funny part is that we were just not prepared for this. I never thought he would have to leave so abruptly. It’s strange. But that’s the reality, the truth of my life. I still haven’t come in terms with the reality that he is no more. He has left us forever, he will never return to keep his hand on my head, to bring mee goodies. The arrogant heart refuses to accept the harsh truth.

This is perhaps what innocent love of a daughter means. She believes that her father is never to die, he is an immortal being. She believes that her mother can bear all the sufferings and live on with a smile. Sometimes the innocence and ignorance helps you a lot. It keeps me going. It makes mee feel, dad is still out there in Guwahati. It’s a wonderful feeling at moments of loss.

It’s my 30th birthday today. Dad never wanted to get me married before I was 30, before I had a successful career, before I was in a position to support a whole family. I am not any better now than what I was when I began my career. The only thing that I have gained through these 5 and half years of professional life is some great companies. I am thankful to god for giving mee such wonderful friends, who I know are the most indispensable part of my life today. Dad must be happy somewhere to see his daughter giving this tough situation a good fight.

I move towards the window, leaving dad’s thoughts suspended in the air. They keep floating in every corner of my room all the time. Perhaps a daughter can only bear so much of thoughts in her heart and yet live on.

Happy birthday to mee, Dad. Do you see that smile on my face? It’s not fake.

F5Impulse2011: An Initiative

“I am a fresher. Did my engineering from a reputed college. Couldn’t manage to get a job in a branded company. So finally thought of going for an MBA. My parents had spent their fortune on my education. Currently I don’t know what I should do? I had never known it all my life. Did an engineering course since that’s what was expected off mee. Then opted for MBA since I people said it would fetch me a good job. Now I find no parity between what I learned in classrooms and what I am expected to do.”

“I have an experience of working in an MNC for some handsome years. Now I feel stagnant of the same kind of work that I had been doing everyday. I need a break and start something of my own. I want to start my own company and work for myself. I have no clue about how the market changes its shapes every moment. I don’t have enough hands to help me deliver the kind of work I got from my client. “

1 There are several other issues faced by those trying to make an established career in the IT sector.

Saturday evening was eventful with SocialF5’s first initiative to bring up, discuss and find solutions towards some pertinent issues faced by many. Impulse2011 had a small footfall of 15 members – all working in the IT sector. The group was small, hence helped each other immensely to connect and network. Ideas kept flowing in as soon as a member would come up with a genuine issue.

Hosted by Sanjib Chakravorty, the founding member of SocialF5, it gave us a platform to join hands and try to drive the ecosystem towards betterment. Supported by young enthusiasts like Shilpa Srivastava, Kamanashish Roy, Sugata Chaki, Aninda Das, Prachi Kamalia, Bibhas and Piyu Banerjee, the event moved on touching every challenges a start-up has to face and survive.

Aninda and Sanjib discussed the pain points of any start-up:

  • Delegating work is difficult due to lack of niche experience of working
  • Challenges of choosing correct people
  • Lack of time to train the joinees
  • Difficulty in getting proper resource
  • No HR policies in start-up to maintain discipline

2 To change the society we all need to change our mindset first. Further justifying this, Sanjib stated, “It’s more important to connect and complete than to compete”. The world is flat and we are trying to hog from the same plate. Therefore it’s wise to join hand and grow together rather than pulling each other down and trying to rise high.

Aninda concluded with something he always keeps telling us. We need to guide the young ones to choose the right track. A big brand may fetch them a lot of money, but it’s only in a start-up where they can learn more. He also suggested to practice an insource model over outsource.

Finally we all promised to come up with similar such events at least once in a month and welcome more and more hands to join the mission.